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5 Tips for Lawyers on How to Improve Life
Last week we discussed 5 tips on how someone can cope with living with a lawyer, which most lawyers will probably admit isn't always easy. But then again, what relationships are? Sometimes, though, throwing an attorney into the mix adds additional complications. To the lawyers out there, the following tips may help deal with personal relationships and make life a little easier and more enjoyable:
1. Recognize that your personal relationships deserve your dedication. These people are in your life because they love you, not because they're paying you. And although it may be tempting to take advantage of their understanding and forgiveness (ex: yes, I know I'm running late for dinner again; yes, I know you're picking the kid up from practice again; sorry, but I have to go out of town for a week and you have to handle everything at home), the fact that our loved ones are willing to regularly sacrifice for our careers doesn't necessarily mean that they should. Sometimes it is difficult to remember that our clients or bosses are not necessarily the most important important people in our lives. Yes, those people pay the bills, and that's great and we need them, but don't the people that we go home to everyday - the people that love us and support us and do what they can to make our lives a little easier - deserve our time and attention as much, if not more so, than everyone else? Remember not to take those people for granted.
2. Other people have problems too. I frequently find myself so wrapped up in my own business issues that I forget what's happening in the lives of the people around me. I get absorbed in my clients' problems, and I am trying so hard to fix them, that I inadvertently ignore what obstacles my friends or loved ones might be facing. I commonly have to remind myself that it's not all about me and the issues I am dealing with at work. (It is actually rather embarrassing how often I need that reality check.) When I do realize that other people have problems, and that I need to take my head out of my . . . anyway . . . I find my stress level decreases and I become more empathetic, which is certainly a benefit for those around me.
3. You are not defined by your job. You, as a human being, are so much more than a lawyer, but I am willing to bet that if a person walked up to you right now and said, "Tell me about you," one of the first, if not THE first, thing you would say is "I'm a lawyer." Do we say that because we think it's important or admirable? Do we say that because it takes up so much of our time? You have so many other traits and interests that define you as person more than your job title. If you were to stop lawyering this very second, would you still be you? Don't limit yourself to an occupation. It can be stifling. Appreciating everything else you bring to the table as an individual can add a welcome perspective.
4. Take time off. It's there for a reason. Your mind and your body need breaks. You are doing yourself and your loved ones no favors by burning out and turning into a giant ball of stress.
5. Say "Thank you." That simple two word phrase not only helps the people around you, but it can drastically impact your understanding and appreciation. Being grateful for the small things can change your entire day. But, it's easy to forget to be appreciative. Getting in the habit of truly being thankful and meaning those two little words adds an enlightening perspective on what life is really all about. We are all in this life together. "Thank you" to the bagger at the grocery store who made my shopping trip a little easier. "Thank you" to my husband who turned on one of my favorite movies (we're looking at you Harry Potter) even though he hates it. "Thank you" to my best friend who sends me random text messages to make me laugh. And "thank you" to my clients who have faith that I will do my absolute best to help them in any way I can - that takes a lot of trust. So many things to be thankful for in this life. The more we realize that, the happier we will be.
